Lady Tierney at Bat: A Ballad of FDL Sung in the Year 2013
Last night, two titans met on the field of battle, prepared to settle a grudge that goes back to the inception of Farmhouse lawn baseball, which, indecently, was also last night. The teams only brought their heaviest of hitters, making it an even match-up between Ladies Pam and Tierney vs. Ladies Annie and Bridget. Lady Tierney began her well-documented intimidation techniques early on, calling her hits like her mentor, the Great Bambino. Despite her best efforts, Ladies Annie and Bridget would not be affected by her mind games, displaying their well-honed professional composure.
The first inning began with Ladies Tierney and Pam at bat. Despite Tierney’s early pandering to the crowd, her first attempt was marred by two strikes and several balls before finally connecting for a ground double. When the legend, Lady Pam Fricke, took up her, admittedly, child-sized bat, her opponents did have the faintest glimmer of fear in their eyes. It was an appropriate reaction as Pam connected immediately for a solid single. Though slow to start, Tierney returned to bat and made good on all her earlier threats, scoring three runs with a single hit.
Confident in their lead, they then, without explanation, took their positions in the field. Ladies Annie and Bridget asked no questions and immediately set about closing the gap. Lady Annie, a modest but intensely skilled player, completed the task almost immediately, connecting for a home run, that due to the other team’s somewhat bumbling fielding abilities and the interpretive nature of lawn baseball rules, resulted in three runs. The game then took an ugly turn as Lady Bridget ‘s arrival at bat brought on a near fist fight on the mound as Lady Tierney began to argue the other team’s scoring tactics and her realization that her own team had willing given up their turn without incurring three outs. Cooler heads prevailed and Lady Bridget managed a ground rule triple, true to her consistent and well-respected reputation.
The slugfest continued in this fashion for two more innings before a scheduling conflict, also know as E.P., forced the game to be called early. Both teams immediately claimed victory, setting up the promise of a rematch in the near future. This intrepid reporter can’t wait.
– Lady Sarena